Seasons of Change

“And all at once summer collapsed into fall…” Oscar Wilde

It’s a new season! The leaves have begun to change into beautiful colors and drop from the trees. The air is crisp and our mornings here in the PNW usually start off covered with fog. The garden is done growing and harvest is coming to a close. The days are getting shorter, the nights are getting longer.

I have to admit, something magical happens to me in the fall. I’ve always been this way. I get way to excited for things like school supplies, cider, pumpkins, fall colors, and the smell of cinnamon. My family has just had to deal with my love for all things fall…ummm… except pumpkin spice lattes and pumpkin pie…I’m not a fan of those…sorry.

At any rate, the one major things fall brings to my heart is the fact that change happens.

Change happens!

I’m not a huge fan of change either but it does happen, even when we don’t want it to. Change happens in marriage, too, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Change can give us a feeling of life starting over. What you once knew about your life, has now changed and you have to change with it. Your marriage has to change with it. Each season requires change, healthy change. Embrace the change as a couple and grow strong through it.

For every season in our marriages, we have to deal with some sort of change. You get married and you are living on cloud 9 and then you discover that your husband is a morning person…and you aren’t. True story. You are excited for this new life, but now there are two of you to think about. You can’t just do what you want to do all the time, you have another person to communicate with, to include. Embrace it. Love the change.

You get pregnant and have 9 months of change, then the major change of adding another member to your family…major changes in your thoughts, major changes in your communication need to take place. It’s no longer just the two of you, there are now three of you…then four…maybe more as the years go on. You can get upset that you can no longer do what you used to do, or you can embrace the change and let it grow you as an individual and as a couple.

Your kids grow and start school. Now your schedule changes significantly, especially as the kids get into sports or the arts. Your time is now almost designated for you. You might feel like you are just going with the flow, but it is a fun time of change for everyone. Embrace it! Have fun with it...together.

The years fly and your last little one is headed to college or moving out on their own. Their lives are changing and so is yours. There are no sounds of little feet in the house. No shouts of “Mom” or “Dad”. This can be a rough time for your marriage. Have you kept the lines of communication open over the years? Have you been purposeful to spend time together? Have you continued to grow as a couple, closer together and closer with God? If so, you can enjoy this time of change and embrace all the fun there is in spending time, just the two of you. If not, this might be a really rough time for your marriage. If you feel as though you don’t know each other anymore, get to know one another again. Date, laugh, go on vacation just the two of you… Embrace the change and the challenge to get back together with each other and with God. Build your marriage foundation on the Rock and allow Him to weave you two together if you have drifted.

For each season of your marriage, there is change. But it does not mean that it will be bad. No, change can be good. It is a matter of choice, healthy communication, and going through this change as one couple. Change needs prayer. Change needs patience. Change needs extra compassion for those who might be struggling with change.

You have to take time to be aware of your spouse in the midst of change. How are they doing? How are they feeling? What can I do to help them, Lord? You have to be willing to work through changes. You need to be willing to embrace changes with excitement because God always has something for us in the midst of change. You will learn more about yourself, more about your spouse, more about your marriage if you are willing to embrace the change.

Amanda Gorman said, “For there is always light if we’re brave enough to see it, if we’re brave enough to be it.” Let’s be brave enough to embrace our spouse and walk through every change with them. Walk through as one, not as two.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

Eccl. 3:1-8 ESV

As the leaves change and fall to the ground this beautiful autumn season, take some time to reflect on:

How are you dealing with changes?

How is your spouse is dealing with changes?

Are you working together?

Are you praying through changes together?

Are you honoring God through the way you are dealing with change?

Are you embracing the change you are going through currently…together?

Let change grow your marriage and bring you into amazing depths you two may have never known existed. Let change bring about beauty.

Love to you all!

Kirsten